Moving Slowly Through Wet Cement

...or, On Being Tired.

There are days when just moving seems like an effort.

There are days when all you want to do is sleep in.

You just feel like sprawling out in a state of utter and complete relaxation.

Then you feel like perfecting this state and sharing it with others.



Maybe even encouraging your friends to take up this position, too.

Hopefully the word will spread on how great it is to just relax and let it all go.

It really is something that everyone can enjoy.

There are days when all you want to do is cuddle up with someone special.

Sometimes a lot of time can pass, and you become older and wiser, but you still love cuddling up with that same person.

You look around, and realise that other people are relaxing and resting.

Or just sitting back and watching the world go by.

"Why can't it be me?" you despair. You may even find yourself getting cross with those around you.

Or you just want to tear everything up and throw it on the floor.

Most of all, you just want to tuck yourself in with someone you love.

Then the day finally comes when all the hustle and bustle slip away and you can take a breath, smell a rose, read a book, lie on the grass, or even just sit in the ocean and contemplate life.

I'm ready for that day. It's been a long year. I'm ready to recharge and rejuvenate. I'm ready to garden, to read, to watch, to sleep, to hug, to potter, to sew, to chat, to swim, to walk. Three days of work to go...

All photos taken by Bebb, at Penguin Island WA, Perth Zoo WA, East Coast Tasmania, and my home, also in Tasmania.

The Insomniac

If I had a magic wand (apparently mine would be eleven inches, dragon heartstring and cedar) and had one wish, I would remove my insomnia.

It's been there as long as I can remember. As a child, Mum and Dad had terrible trouble getting me to sleep. I can remember Mum making a star chart- if I stayed in bed once I was put there I would get a star. Poor Mum and Dad...I can vividly remember being about six or seven and the only one awake in the house, and feeling so alone that I would go and stand next to their bed and stare at them. On numerous occasions. Yeah, and that isn't creepy at all.

Yes, and they would sometimes wake up and get an awful fright to see a small figure in a nightie standing by the bed staring at them. Sorry Mum and Dad...I was just lonely and couldn't sleep. No wonder they made the star chart! 

Fast forward twenty or so years and I am still a troubled sleeper. There is nothing worse than being absolutely exhausted, crawling into bed, having a relaxing read, turning off the light- and instantly having your brain switch on and start merrily running in circles. I never know when it will hit. It always takes me quite a while to get to sleep (I used to dread school camps and was never overly keen on sleepovers, as I would inevitably be the last one left awake) but some nights are far, far worse than others. It's very stressful knowing that I have to be up early and not being able to simply switch off my brain and drift off. Instead I feel restless and tense and worried and...argh. Having restless legs syndrome does not help matters either. I've tried herbal tea, warm milk (ugh), hot baths, cool showers, herbal sleep aids (the nightmares valerian seem to bring me aren't worth it), lavender oil, deep breathing, yoga, meditation, etc etc etc etc...What I haven't tried are sleeping tablets, and nor will I. I just don't want to go there as I don't want to become addicted or reliant on them.

So on it goes, the constant battle...A cognitive behaviour therapist tried to help me once and a piece of advice I took away and put into practice is that if I am still tossing and turning after 20 minutes, I get up, out of bed, leave the room and read for 10 minutes in the lounge room, then try again. Last night was a bad night...still awake at 3am and up for work at 6.30am. I feel groggy and distant today and am hoping for a much better night tonight.

Ah, to be a dog or cat and able to slip blissfully into a near-coma within seconds...



The sting in the adder's tail for bookworms...

...is lack of sleep due to not being able to stop reading a good book.

Case in point: last Sunday night I couldn't bring myself to stop reading until at least 12.30am. And then the book was swirling in my brain until at least 2am. This would be all well and good if my job didn't involve getting up at 6.30am in order to be at work by 8am, ready for a day of teaching six and seven year olds who a) have a lot of energy b) are noisy and c) aren't afraid to bellow "You look so tired Ms S!"

Unfortunately I can't offer my favourite Bridget Jones's Diary (the book, not the movie) quote to children...

"There's nothing worse than people telling you you looked tired. They might as well have done with it and say you look like five kinds of s***."

The Book That Must Be Blamed for my foggy Monday last week is Delirium, by Lauren Oliver. I've been wanting to read it ever since I devoured her first book, Before I Fall, in its entireity on a plane from Queensland to Melbourne to Tasmania in February. Delirium is set in an unspecified future, a future in which love has been identified as a disease and all citizens must undergo a process to 'cure' them of this emotion once they reach 18. Very thought-provoking and un-put-downable. It's the first in a trilogy and I am now eager for March 2012 so I can find out what happens next....

Anyway, welcome to my new blog. I've had other blogs in the past but the least said about those overblown and youthful exercises in being dramatic the better. Therefore we can move right along. Here I'll be talking about my life, my work, my pets, my love, my crafting and creating, my friends, as well as two of my passions, books and movies. Thanks for stopping by. 

Love,

Bebb