Memories of a Meeting...From Two Perspectives

When we meet someone who is going to completely change our life, we very rarely realise it. I certainly didn't realise the first time I met Rob that I was meeting the man of my dreams, my future partner and the father of my child. I would like to share the story of our first meeting with you.

Back in 2011, I was working as a Literacy Support teacher at a small and friendly primary school in the city. In the second week of the first term of the year, I was asked to do relief teaching on one of the Prep classes on the Friday of that week (my day off) which I happily accepted. In the class was a five year old girl named Mikayla, all blonde hair, gorgeous grin and chirpiness, who I had started working with the previous week as she needed a bit of extra help with her literacy skills. 

The first time I met Mikayla, she informed me that her daddy was "very special. He can't see, and so he has a special dog called Jasper to help him. You should meet my daddy!" She also told me that she lived with Mummy for some of the week and Daddy for the rest of the time. On the Friday, she was excited to discover that I was to be her teacher for the day and told me, "I'm at Daddy's today! You can meet him when he picks me up!" 

The day passed in a blur of 23 busy five and six year olds and soon enough it was home time. After I dismissed the students, most ran outside to where their parents were waiting, but one of the fathers- who I instantly noticed was very tall- came into the room, holding the hand of an adorable little blonde boy who looked just like Mikayla, and also holding the harness of a Seeing Eye Dog. Mikayla ran to him for a hug and I followed.

"Hello! I'm Karen. I was Mikayla's relief teacher today. You must be her dad," I said. The man smiled and held out his hand, saying "Nice to meet you- I'm Rob, this is Harry and this is Jasper." I shook his hand, impressed not only by how warm and friendly he was, but that he had held out his hand at the exact height to shake mine. (I was to learn later that he is very good at working out people's heights based on their voices.) We had a little chat about how Mikayla had been that day and how I was a new teacher at the school and had been working with Mikayla on her literacy. I bid them goodbye and watched Rob walk away holding onto his children and Jasper. What a nice man, I thought, and what a good father he seems to be.

I am now going to do something I have not yet done here, and hand the reins of my blog over to someone else temporarily...in this case, Rob himself as he would like to share his own memories of our first meeting and the friendship that began that day.

"When I first met Karen I was picking my daughter up from Prep. I was quite surprised when she came over to me where I waited for MJ inside the classroom and introduced herself. We shook hands and she said that Mikayla-Jade had told her a lot about me and it was a pleasure to meet me.
 
I've often looked back at that moment and thought how warm and caring she is. For a relief teacher to go out of their way to meet parents and to put so much heart into their work is really not often found.
 
It was such a pleasure to see her other times throughout the year and I was always greeted by a warm smile. Later in the year when my son Harry began attending pre-kinder once a week he also had the privilege to have Karen as his teacher where we would often sit down and chat. These were short minutes no longer than ten but were really pleasant and I think we both felt comfortable with each other’s company.
 
Jasper even got his trotters in by getting the occasional off-harness time for a tummy rub and Karen being the big dog lover that she is found a new love interest.
 
It was very fortunate for me that months later and after frequently bumping into one another we talked more and found that we got along so easily and started to spend more and more time together.
 
Fast forward till now and we are living together, expecting our first child together and really in a happy place.
 
Kaz is my best friend, a beautiful and supportive partner whom I share everything with and hold nothing back. I love how she reads my expression and always looks for the best. She has so much to give and really lives life never holding anything back. She is a really important part of our lives and I am so happy we are in love with each other and are building an incredible life together."

My life was very different then. If someone had told me then that within the next two years I would be not only living with Rob and very much in love, but also helping him to raise his children and expecting our own baby together, I would have been skeptical, to say the least. But that's the direction my life took and I am glad to say it was the right direction and I am very happy with my little family. I am adored, cherished, cared for and loved. I am happy and feel like my dreams are all coming true. Rob may be legally blind, but no one has ever seen me so clearly and for that, I will always be grateful. He may not be able to see my face, but he always knows when I am smiling and smiles straight back at me, just like he did the first time we met.

Incredibly loud and uncomfortably close

So. In a previous post about Bruny Island, I mentioned that I developed a fear of heights a few years back due to an incident while abseiling. I also said the incident was a story for another day. This is that day.

Rewind to 2004. I was twenty years old and along with my sister, parents, and various close family friends and relatives, had headed to Coles Bay for the weekend to celebrate my father's birthday. Here I am, about to walk into Wineglass Bay and meeting a local.

One of the activities planned was abseiling. My father is a qualified abseiling instructor and many among the party had never abseiled and were keen to give it a go. Dad found a suitable rock face for us and set everything up. This is the view from the edge of the drop- not a huge drop, but still pretty high up.

I was an old hand at abseiling. From the age of 12, Dad had taken me and my sister on all kinds of abseils. I had abseiled off bridges, 50 metre high water towers, and all manner of rock faces. This one looked nice and simple. Not too high, but still high enough to be thrilling. I was calm and confident and volunteered to go first and show the beginners how it was done. Dad was at the top with me, and his mate Neil, who was also very experienced, was the off-rope guy at the bottom. We harnessed me up and I started the scariest part- backing up to the edge and leaning right back, ready to start walking down. Too easy. This photo was zoomed in so it looks like we weren't that far from the ground- but we were.

I'm still not sure how it happened. One second I was leaning back, and the next second my feet had slipped and I was freefalling backwards. I didn't actually fall downwards as the ropes stopped me, but I fell backwards. That feeling of freefalling backwards, from a considerable height, was one of the most frightening feelings I have experienced. I had no control. I felt my body and head smash against the rock wall with a considerable amount of force.  I was left dangling upside down, pressed against the wall. There were gasps from the onlookers and I heard Dad say "Shit. Neil, could you come up here please?" Everything seemed strangely muffled as my heart was pounding right in my ears. The sound of my own heart beating out my terror was incredibly loud and uncomfortably close. I hung there, silent.

It may not sound that frightening, but picture it. Picture dangling in midair with no control over your position, and opening your eyes to see the ground a long, long way from you. I knew the ropes were holding me, but it was small consolation and irrational terror held me immobile. Neil arrived at Dad's side in a considerably short time and they spoke calmly to me, telling me I had to sit myself up and reach for their hands. I hung still and silent. I may have said no, I'm not sure. Eventually they convinced me and I pulled myself into a sort of sitting position, was grasped by the hands and pulled up. There are photos, thanks to my insensitive ex who thought I would 'want' to see them (as well as showing them to his entire family. Thanks for that) but I'm not going to put them up. Mum was waiting and as soon as I was unclipped I went to her and she hugged me. I buried my face in her shoulder and wept.

I was left with cuts and bruises, including the bruised imprint of my own ribs on my back, as well as a new fear of heights that did not go away. Dad tried to get me abseiling a few months later, but I couldn't do it. I tried. I got harnessed up and got to the edge and just couldn't do it. For months after I would lie in bed and remember the feeling of freefalling, the loss of control, the dizzying smash of my body against the rocks, the terror of hanging suspended above the ground. I tried to fight it but it would not go away. It seems my fear of heights is here to stay with me, as demonstrated by my panicked state when climbing the lighthouse on Bruny. It makes me sad. I miss abseiling. I want to try and conquer it again, but I just don't know if I can.

<><><>

In other, very sad news, a beautiful family here in Launceston have been rocked by the sudden loss of their husband and father Aaron last week, just a few months after the loss of their 10 year old son Noah. It is terrible news and my heart is so sad for Lisa and her boys. You can read their family blog here. If you feel you would like to do something to help, a page has been set up so that donations can be made to help them get through the next few months. You can donate here. They have so much love and support around them but I can't imagine the pain they are feeling right now.