The five second rule gone wrong

So we've all heard of the five-second rule. Wherein if you drop a piece of food, it's fine to eat it if you grab it within five seconds. I am a believer in this rule. Rob is not. To be fair, as he is visually impaired I can see why he doesn't subscribe to this theory. He doesn't allow the children to do so either and thinks it's gross when I do it. But I do it anyway. Because let's face it...as a busy mum, if I am grabbing a piece of chocolate on my way through the kitchen and it slips out of my sleep-deprived fingers and hits the kitchen floor- well, that's my chocolate and I am going to eat it, damn it.

However, I may have recently taken things too far. 

It was last Friday night and the kids and baby were all asleep in bed so Rob and I were enjoying some grown-up time. (By this I mean sitting on the couch in our pjs watching half an hour of a movie before I declare I am too tired and head to bed at 8pm. The wild life of motherhood.) To complete the cosy scene, my cat Pesto was nestled against my legs, purring like no tomorrow. He is much cuddlier in the colder months, leading me to feel slightly used. 

On this particular night, Rob and I felt peckish so he went to raid the pantry for something vaguely resembling junk food. It being the end of the week, I didn't hold out much hope. He returned with a Tupperware container half full of cheese flavoured rice crackers that we put in the children's lunch boxes. Crunchy, cheesy, vaguely resembling junk food. As he put the open container on the couch between us, Pesto leaned forwards with interest to sniff at it but then decided it was too much effort and settled back against my legs. 

We crunched into them as we continued watching (look, I just said it was 'a movie' but we may have been watching Titanic. Don't judge us) and all too soon they were gone. Drat. I was starting to enjoy the strangely orange cheese flavour. I got up and left the room to wash my hands and when I returned saw a piece of cracker where I had been sitting, which I had obviously dropped. 

Completely without thinking, I grabbed it and put it in my mouth, only to discover to my dawning horror that it was soggy. 

Soggy. 

Cat....interested....sitting next to me...oh God. 

Yep, I now had a piece of cracker in my mouth that the cat had tasted and then spat out. I guess he didn't like the powdered orange cheese. 

After I ran to the sink and spat it out myself, I explained to Rob what had happened as he had only heard my noises of horror. He immediately began laughing uproariously while telling me it served me right and that it would teach me. 

Has it? Maybe. Probably not. But next time I will be more careful and make sure the five second rule is actually only five seconds. I love my cat, but that love doesn't extend to eating food he has had in his mouth and then rejected. No way. 

Ready or Not....

So... In one month I will be saying farewell to maternity leave, kissing my sweet boy goodbye a few days a week and heading back to work. That year went INSANELY quickly. I have loved having so much time at home with my boy and I am really dreading my return to work. I think it will be hard on both of us but...I know we can do it. At least I have a job that I enjoy, though like all jobs there are good bits and bad bits. Here are some things I'm looking forwards to about returning to teaching...

*Having a pay check. Yep. I put that one first. I've been on Leave Without Pay for a while now after using all my paid leave and I'm not going to pretend I'm not wildly excited about actually being paid again. 

* Moments of hilarity throughout the day due to the fact that kids really do say the darnedest things. Like the time I was singing Five Little Ducks with my kinder class and rhetorically asked "Where do you think the little ducks are?" only to have one boy answer "Perhaps a fox dragged them away and ate them." Or the time a grade 2 student was playing a language game and arranging word cards to make sentences...and proudly read out "My dad rides the hairy mother." Moments like that require an intense amount of willpower in order not to burst out laughing. I love it, really I do. 

* Watching children grow and develop under my care. Sounds cliched but it's true. 

* Having fun with my students. Am I the only teacher joining in on the playground and going down the slide or riding tandem on little pedal bikes or dressing up in strange op-shop fashions in the costume corner? Yes. Do I care that I'm the only one? No. Playing rocks, and students adore having their teacher join in on the fun. 

And here are some things I am not looking forwards to...

* Germs. Kids have a lot of them and they have no qualms about sneezing or coughing right into one's face. Yuck. Teachers pick up a lot of colds. 

* Staff meetings. Enough said. No one enjoys them. No one. 

* Having to have my act together ready to leave the house at 7.45 in order to be at work by 8 so I have time to organise stuff before the students arrive at 8.30 onwards. Those people who snidely remark that teaching must be "an easy job- 9 to 3 and so many holidays!" clearly have no idea. I am up early these days, of course (it happens when you have a baby) but that doesn't mean I am dressed and ready to face the day that early. Blerrrggghhh. 

* Missing my boy. It's going to be hard. I know that. As I said before, it will be hard for both of us and I expect the transitional period to be tough. However, I know he will be in such good hands with either his daddy or his nan and pop. And I know that seeing this cheeky face when I return home will fill me with such joy. 

(Inside out jumper on head= court jester) 

Until next time...